Two ways to think about fear that can change everything

This is the public journal of a coward.

Most people wouldn't know it by looking at me, but I'm afraid of a lot of stuff. Most of it is the usual stuff: like being chased through the woods by werewolves or falling into a tank of piranha. But I think the most crippling fear for me is fear of success.

Why should I be afraid of success? Success is accompanied by change and new responsibility. I think: failure is what I know; what if I don't like what's on the other side of it? What if I can't handle the new stresses? What if I can't change it back to the way it was?

The truth, as it seems to me, is that nothing is ever what you expect it to be. There's always some aspect to everything that feels uncomfortable like the chair you constantly have to shift your weight in.

If you're like me, you probably want to know how to get over being afraid of garbage that doesn't really make any sense because I know there are some things on the side of success that I actually do want. Like I want to be able to build a flourishing business that works for me and other people so I don't have to work for somebody else that wasn't afraid of success.

So, given that getting past fear is easier said than done, I'll say my two-pronged approach to thinking about fear and maybe we can all act on it together:

1) Try doing the thing you're afraid of

The thing about fear is that it's just a feeling. Feelings don't have any actual stopping power like a locked door. Anyone can push through a wall made out of air. Feelings aren't any different. The fear-feeling might make you uncomfortable while you're doing it, but it can't actually stop you.

2) Try listening to the thing you're afraid of

I'm not down on fear, honestly: I think it's useful sometimes. Sometimes it's warning you against doing something that'll hurt you. Some people think they need to hypnotize and affirm themselves into not being afraid of things anymore, and maybe that works for some people. But my fear has kept me from jumping into tanks of piranhas (not that I've had the opportunity in rural Indiana), and I'm really glad I've never jumped into a tank of piranhas before.

I try to think about my fear as a personal adviser. I'm in the executive seat in my life, and Mr. Fear comes in with stats and data when it thinks I'm about to make a mistake. If it has good reasons for what it's saying, maybe I should listen to it. But whether I listen to it or not, it's my decision: I get the last word on the matter.

When I think about fear like this, it's my servant and I'm its employer. Now the fear might grumble and complain like many employees do when things aren't going its way, but it can't do anything except say, "Yes sir" when I decide to move.

So I hope I've encouraged you to move when you decide to move and not let some sniveling, cowardly adviser stand in your way. In my case, I've been afraid of starting this blog because I mean to invest myself in it and build an organization with some very cool people through it.

Let's gather courage and make some great things happen.